Wedding Song For Your Reception
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Planning your reception
Of all your wedding preparations, finding the right reception site and caterer are two decisions most fraught with potential disaster. And each should be booked as soon as possible, at least six to 12 months before a big wedding. Use these five guides to help celebrate getting hitched with minimal fuss.
Choosing A Reception Site:
We'll tell you what practical matters to consider first, and then some of your options, from VFW halls to fancy hotels to outdoor picnics.
Your reception site sets the tone of your celebration, so make your selection carefully. Consider these six practical matters first, and then go through the options, whether it's a fancy dinner dance at an exclusive hotel, a casual outdoor picnic or a wild celebration in a local loft space.
Six practical matters to consider. Consider these six practical issues before exploring specific reception site options:
1. Decor: Is the atmosphere appropriate for the type of reception you're planning? Is it "you," or do all those gothic chandeliers scare you to death?
2. Size: Is it big enough to accommodate the number of guests you expect? Is there enough space for a dance floor? Is there a stage for the band?
3. What's allowed? Is a band or loud music allowed? Is alcohol permitted on the premises?
4. Location: Is it easy to find? How close is it to the site of the ceremony?
5. Price: Can you afford it? Are reservations made on an hourly basis or for a full night? What time do they "close the doors"? Is there a fee if you don't get out in time?
6. Parking, bathrooms, access: Not exactly the most romantic issues, but some of the most important: Is there ample parking for guests? Are there adequate restroom facilities? Is there easy access for your great-aunt Marge's wheelchair?
Exploring the options:
People have gotten married almost everywhere — in balloons, on top of mountains, in Vegas wedding chapels. Finding a spot for your reception is a little more restrictive — you need room for more than two people, a lot more room. But you can still be creative. Here are some traditional and nontraditional options:
Church, temple, synagogue or other religious place: If you're getting married in a house of worship, see if they have a banquet hall that suits your needs. It may be in the basement, but it can be a good low-budget option. Just don't expect a full-service bar or a band playing Black Sabbath all night. Cost: $100 and up.
Lodge or hall: Almost every town has a Knights of Columbus, VFW or American Legion hall. They're inexpensive and perfect if you're going the casual polka-band-and-buffet route. Just watch out for wedding reception crashers dressed like elks. Cost: Usually $300 and up.
Hotels: Many hotels have spacious banquet halls. If you're inviting a lot of out-of-town guests, consider holding the reception at a hotel where many will be staying. Guests who indulge in a few too many cocktails won't have to worry about getting home
and you won't have to worry about them, either. Many hotels allow the option of outside caterers, although more upscale places may insist on their own food and beverage services. Cost: Varies dramatically with hotel, usually $1,000 and up.
Restaurants: Some restaurants have large banquet rooms and others can be leased outright for an evening or afternoon.
Cost: A small cafe can sometimes be leased for as little as a few hundred dollars. Larger, fancier restaurants are much more (and usually require you to order their food too).
Outdoors: If you're getting married during a warm-weather month, consider an outdoor reception either in someone's garden or at some public outdoor facility that's available for these occasions. You can even have a fancy weenie (or pig) roast on a beach! But keep in mind that after renting all the tents, tables and such, it may not be much cheaper than reserving a hall. And much more nerve-wracking as you are dependent on the weather. So unless you're getting married in a place with very dependable weather, or are well prepared with tents and other shelters in case of rain, you may not want to risk the anxiety of a soaking wet reception. Cost: Your parents' garden may be free, but all those rentals can easily set you back $1,000 and more.
Get creative: And your friends and family will remember your reception forever. Host a cocktail reception on a river boat, a funky artistic loft space, an art museum or gallery, or
if you have the wherewithal (and extra cash) rent out a resort or, heck, an entire island. Cost: All over
the place.
Decorating For Wedding Receptions:
Find out when the earliest possible time is that you might be able to enter the reception hall and decorate. You'll want to know how much time you'll have, and whether you need to pick up a key to the place in order to ensure plenty of time to decorate. Find out whether there are any limitations on what can be done as far as decorating the place. Tell the manager exactly what you plan to do so there are no misunderstandings.
Talk extensively with the wedding party about what they expect the wedding hall to look like. What is the style of the wedding? Any particular themes you should know about? What are the exact colors of the wedding party? You'd hate to be told the color is blue, go out and by baby blue streamers and decorations, only to find out that the wedding color is navy.
Find people to help you decorate. You'll need as many people as possible to help you go to the reception site and decorate. The more the merrier. Many people are eager to help out with weddings (because it's such an exciting time), so don't be afraid to ask.
Know what your budget is. How much can you spend?
Find out what flowers will be brought into the reception site and where they'll be placed.
Ask the reception hall manager if the reception hall has any wedding decorations that you might be able to borrow or rent. They may even put the decorations up for you, if you ask.
Don't forget to buy tape and tacks. You'll likely need plenty of these materials in order to make sure all your decorations stick to the tables, walls and ceilings.
When you are done decorating, invite the sponsors of the wedding and the bride and groom inside to come take a look. Ask them if there's anything they want you to change. Keep in mind that, while at this point it may feel like it's partially your wedding, it's actually still theirs. They are also under a lot of stress, so offer as much help as you can.
What Should You Serve And How:
The hour of the reception (i.e.-morning, mid-afternoon, evening) can help you plan your menu, and how to serve it up.
Wedding receptions do not have to include a full sit-down lunch or dinner. There are no hard-and-fast rules. But whatever you choose, it's proper etiquette to make a note on the wedding invitation about what guests can expect at the reception: "Please join us for tea and cake following the ceremony" or "Dinner and dancing will follow at the
Dwayne Banyan VFW." Here are some tips to make your catering decisions a little easier, and here's a list of caterers in your neighborhood.
What time is the wedding?
The hour of your wedding can help suggest what to serve at the reception afterward. Consider the following:
Morning weddings: Follow a morning ceremony with a buffet brunch or continental breakfast. Serve fancy baked goods, fruits and omelets. Guests can sip juices, mimosas and Bloody
Mary's.
Mid-afternoon: If you've scheduled an afternoon reception and don't want to serve a big meal, consider going "British." Serve finger sandwiches, hors d'oeuvres, scones and cake, along with tea, wine and champagne.
Early evening: Many guests expect a full dinner if the reception is held in the early evening, whether it's a fancy sit-down meal or a casual buffet. If you want a low-budget, informal celebration, why not throw a potluck dinner and ask friends to bring their favorite dish instead of a gift?
Later evening: If you're planning to serve just cocktails and hors d'oeuvres, make sure you schedule the ceremony no earlier than 7 p.m. so that guests will have time to eat dinner beforehand. (And make sure you state this on the invitation!) Remember, though, if you plan to invite families with young children, a reception that doesn't start until 8 or 9 p.m. may not be the best plan.
Food-serving options: Here's a quick guide to some of the food-serving options you may hear tossed out by caterers or banquet managers:
American service: We've all been there. The kitchen staff prepares individual plates, which are hand-delivered to guests. Because each guest equals a meal, make sure your RSVP headcount jibes with the caterer's.
Buffet: Guests serve themselves from long tables of food. A good money-wise option as fewer servers are needed. Also best if you're not sure exactly how many guests will attend.
Family style: Large platters of food are brought to each table and people help themselves. This can be great fun at an intimate reception where everyone at a table is likely to know one another.
Russian service: Like family style, but the wait staff carries the platters of food and serves guests at the table. Fairly large staff is required, and it can take a lot of time. The more people you're hosting, the less practical this becomes.
Top Questions To Ask The Caterer:
Finding the right caterer can be tough. These questions will help narrow your search.
Many reception halls offer (or even require that you use) their own catering services while some halls may not offer any. Whatever the case, you'll need to spend considerable time with your selected caterer. Here are some caterers in your neighborhood.
Keep in mind that a good caterer should be flexible and eager to work with you to plan your perfect event. First impressions don't necessarily tell the whole story, but after your initial meeting ask yourself, "Did I like them?" If your personalities clash, or if something seems amiss, find someone else. You won't have time to start from scratch later. Then, after you cover the basics (Are you available on my wedding day? Can I afford you? Do I like your food?), don't forget to ask these
Important questions below:
1. Do you have a catering license and liability insurance?
A caterer with a license and insurance must comply with health codes. Skip anyone who does not have either. Don't let food poisoning be the most prominent memory of your wedding.
2. Can I get some references?
Ask past customers about the caterer's food, personality, professional skills and ability to handle the unexpected. Then check with the Better Business Bureaus to see if there are any complaints filed against the business.
3. Can I taste your food? How big are the portions?
Good caterers will let you sample foods to help you decide on your menu. If you don't like what you taste, tell them - they may be willing to change the recipe. You should also ask to see photos of food they've served at previous weddings to check presentation. You don't want unappetizing globs. And don't forget to ask about portion size - you don't want to be unpleasantly surprised by thimbleful servings either.
4. Can you provide the cake?
You can cut down on the number of vendors you have to deal with (and the phone numbers you need to keep track of) by getting the cake from your caterer. But if you're looking for something unique, work with an independent baker who specializes in wedding cakes.
5. Will you provide tables, dinnerware, flatware, glasses, tablecloths?
Some caterers provide everything. Others, nada. The reception hall can often supply what the caterer cannot.
6. Can you help with decorations?
You'll have a hundred things to deal with on your wedding day - you don't want to be running around the reception hall dealing with centerpieces and place cards. If hiring a professional decorator isn't in the budget, make a checklist of decoration items and ask your caterer if s/he can handle them while setting up.
7. How many service people will be on hand?
Good service has a big effect on the pace and atmosphere of the reception. Check to see how many servers, busers and bartenders will be provided, then make sure the same number show up.
8. Who will be in charge while the meal is served?
Ideally, your caterer should be present, but if he or she can't be there, get the name of the person who will be in charge on the big day. Someone senior should be there to oversee the staff and deal with little snags before they snowball into major embarrassments. If possible, work with this person (or at least meet him or her) during the planning stages so that you'll have a good working relationship established when the big day arrives.
9. What are the hidden costs, such as cake cutting, overtime, tax and tip?
Discuss all unexpected costs with the caterer in advance so you aren't surprised when you get the final bill.
10. What are the financial arrangements?
How big of a deposit does the caterer need? When is it due? When is the balance due? What if I cancel? Is there a refund policy if something goes wrong that is the caterer's fault? Work out financial details well in advance. There's nothing worse than doing the dishes at your own reception.
Bar Service:
Here are a few suggestions on how to minimize that big bar tab.
Bar service is tricky. Most etiquette experts say it's rude to have a cash bar. But if you let your guests drink to their hearts' content, they're likely to imbibe more than is prudent, and you're likely to run up a huge bar tab. Consider these four cost-saving options:
Do your own shopping. If possible, buy your own alcohol rather than getting it from the caterer or reception site. You can choose less expensive brands - or get fine vintages without paying through the nose - and you get to keep what's left over. You can get great wine deals online, or check out wine and liquor stores near you.
Skip the hard stuff. Instead, offer a selection of beer, wine and soda. Or perhaps offer beer and wine on the house, but stock a cash bar for mixed drinks.
Toast sparingly. What's a wedding without champagne? And what racks up the bucks more than several cases of fine bubbly? Avoid the champagne-spouting fountains and consider offering the sparkling stuff for that first important toast only. Also keep in mind that it's better to do that first toast with decent champagne, followed by decent (but cheaper) white wine, rather than offering unlimited cheap (and headache-inducing) bubbly wine.
Get out of the box. Be creative. Go for a sparkling wine bar instead of a full bar. An assortment of festive bubbly drinks can be made with sparkling wine and exotic juices. And remember, there's nothing wrong with a big bowl of wickedly spiked punch - or even a keg or two.
The Big DON'TS:
Want a great reception? Make the most of your big day by avoiding these common pitfalls.
Minimize "down time" between ceremony and reception.
Who wants to hang around for a reception that starts three hours after the ceremony? You may scoff, but during busy wedding seasons when churches and halls are booked far in advance, this can happen. So plan ahead!
Skip the messy foods.
No matter how much fun it is to twirl, red-sauced fettuccine will give your elegantly clad friends and relatives etiquette and dry-cleaning nightmares. Plan on a delicious menu, yes, but also one that's easy to eat.
Don't forget your guests' dietary needs.
Make sure your caterer can accommodate common dietary restrictions such as kosher, vegetarian, low-sodium and low-fat. You may not know who needs what in advance, so plan to have a few special meals available for anyone who asks. (And you may want to ask about any special diets on your invitations.)
Don't let your unusual tastes dictate the menu.
Your loved ones may not share your penchant for frog legs and escargot. Serve foods that reflect not only your own tastes, but will also appeal to the majority of your guests. Why pay for something that will remain on the plate?
Never assume anything - get it in writing!
A handshake and a smile may feel nice and friendly, but you need a contract with everyone's John Hancock on it. That is especially true for the caterer and the reception hall. If something goes awry, you'll have no legal recourse unless you get it in writing.
Don't forget to tip the caterer.
Some caterers include a service charge on their bill. If not, don't forget to tip them for a job well done. The usual service charge is 15 percent.
Don't forget: YOU are in charge.
It's your big day. Don't let anyone - not the professional vendors or your future mother-in-law - bully you into making decisions you're not comfortable with. If they do, it's never too late to elope.
