Tips to find the perfect dresses for Your Bridesmaids
The bridesmaid dress is an area of delicate negotiation. Finding a particular dress style and color for your bridesmaids can be challenging and difficult when various opinions are involved. Consider the following tips to help you find those dresses.
DO'S & DON'TS:
DO: Put yourself in their shoes. While shopping for your bridesmaid dresses consider whether or not you would wear the dress before buying them. Make sure the dress will look good on all those who will be wearing them. You want the style of the dress to compliment each bridesmaid.
DON’T: Think all your bridesmaids have to be dressed exactly the same. It is common today to pick a color that you want your bridesmaids to be in. Don't worry so much about the style of all the dresses being the same. This way each bridesmaid can wear a dress that complements their shape and shows off their figure.
DO: Be considerate. Being asked to be a bridesmaid is an honor, however it can also be very expensive. Communicate with your friends about a dress budget they can afford or whether or not you plan to pay for their dresses. Sometimes there is someone who can make the dresses instead of buying them which could save the bridesmaids a lot of money.
DON’T: Try to make your maids look ridiculous so you’ll stand out. You want your friends to look stunning in their own way and compliment you so you’ll have gorgeous pictures and lasting memories.
DO: Have a brainstorming session with your bridesmaids. Let them voice their opinion about what they will and won’t wear. It can be very advantageous to look over bridal magazines to see what styles appeal to you and them. Once a style and color of dress have been decided, plan a shopping date. If possible, take everyone who will be wearing the dress. If you have out-of-town maids, be sure to include them as well. You can send them pictures of the dresses or direct them to a website that has the dresses you like and get their feedback. They can look for the dresses themselves or have you pick up a dress in their size for them. It's always recommended to have them try on the dress prior to the wedding.
Things Your Ushers Should Know
Here’s everything you will probably want to pass on to your ushers that they will need to know for the big day. The details below go over their job description, guest-seating etiquette and more. It would be wise to even print this out and give to your ushers.
Ushers should arrive at the ceremony about 45-60 minutes early with their boutonnieres and wedding attire on.
It's polite for the ushers to greet the guests with a friendly smile as they escort them to their seats.
Traditionally, the usher offers his right arm to the woman (the oldest woman if a group or family is being escorted) or simply walk the guests to their seats.
The brides family and friends are usually seated on the left side of the aisle (facing the altar) and the groom’s family and friends on the right. If one side of the church becomes more full than the other, the ushers should begin seating guests on the other side. You should have a pretty good idea as to how many guests are expected to come from each side. Your guest list will direct you. Let your ushers know ahead of time if you think there might be more attending on one side or the other.
All of the guests should be seated first. Once they have all been seated the parents of the groom are seated. Often times the groom’s mother is escorted by the groom. Next the mother of the bride is escorted in, sometimes by the best man or the head usher.
Remember to inform the family and the ushers ahead of time on who should be sitting where, especially when it comes to divorced parents. If the parents are divorced, the father is seated in the row behind, or if the parents get along well they can be seated in the same row.
The ceremony is ready to begin once the groom and best man are in place at the altar .
After the ceremony, usually two escorts will escort the bride and grooms mothers out. Sometimes the mothers prefer their husbands to escort them. If so, the ushers should just lead the way.
Finally, the ushers should escort the guests out of the building beginning with the front row and working their way back.
Spruce-Up Your Bridesmaid's Luncheon
The bridesmaids’ luncheon is a delightful tradition. The bride gets to express to her bridal attendants how much she cares about them and can thank them for all their help and support throughout the wedding planning process. Show your gratitude for their hard work with some dedicated “girl-time”.
The luncheon for the bridesmaid's should be relaxing and fun. You don't always have to have a lunch necessarily for this event. Below are a few fun ideas that you could do in place of a luncheon.
A dinner party. If you plan a highly formal wedding, a party for your attendants in a similar vein will set the tone early. Everyone can have fun dressing up for the occasion. You can cook, get gourmet take-out or have it catered.
Cruise on a river or lake. If you live near water, use it! Nothing is more relaxing than the feel of a boat rocking beneath you (unless you are prone to seasickness, in which case you should choose another option). Many bodies of water offer ferries that cruise down the river, serve a delicious meal, and even have themed entertainment.
Dinner at a restaurant. Pick your favorite Italian or Chinese restaurant for a relaxing dinner with great conversation. You could also try a dinner theater – dinner and your evening’s entertainment – all in one stop!
Afternoon tea. At a tea shop, a fancy hotel dining room, or even at your house, this is a lovely and relaxing way to thank your bridesmaids. To keep the wedding theme, you could serve cookies in the shape of tiered wedding cakes, delicately frosted in pastels.
Stress-busting spa day. This recent trend delighting bridesmaids and brides alike is the ultimate in multi-tasking. You finally get to pamper yourself the way you’ve intended with beauty treatments and relaxation to prepare for the big day and you can give the same gift to your attendants. Spas offer a variety of services so you can arrange your own schedule from everything from hair and beauty treatments to therapeutic massage and relaxation techniques. This can make for a wonderful girls’ day.
Hometown buffet. If you prefer something relaxed and informal, invite everyone to your house for a “snack party”. You can make (or buy) some delicious appetizers, snacks and finger-foods and have the party in the comfort of your living room. (Oh, and don’t forget dessert!)
Slumber party. Who knows? The cozy atmosphere of your living room may develop into an impromptu sleepover complete with games, wedding movies, and lots of chatting.
Many bridesmaids now come from different parts of the country or only have spoken with each other on the phone. You can use this opportunity to get them better acquainted before the big day. Have everyone share their best wedding disaster stories to break the ice (if you can handle it). But be sure you have some crazy fun too!
Tips for Selecting Your Bridesmaids
You’ve got one sister, he’s got two. Your college roommates were the only ones that pulled through all-night studying sessions with you. You get along so well with those two co-workers. Then, there is “the group” from high school. So, how can you possibly choose between them? While it’s great to have all those close friends, 20 bridesmaids isn’t exactly what you had in mind. Below are a few tips for selecting your bridal party.
Size
Less is more. The more people you choose to be a part of your bridal party, the more opinions you will have to consider, the more difficult it is to schedule events and fittings, and the more expensive it is for you! The more bridesmaids you have means more gifts to buy, more bouquets to purchase, more people at the rehearsal dinner, more limos to rent…
Generally, you need to figure that you should have one groomsman for every 50 guests. Since the amount of groomsmen and bridesmaids are usually equal, you can use that as a guideline.
Making the Cut
Choose family over friends. Friendships come and go, but your family will be a part of your life for a long time to come. In addition, friends will understand if they are not chosen because of family obligations.
Decide how much work you expect from your bridesmaids. Choose people who you know will be happy to help you and can help you because they live locally.
Consider financial needs. If you have potential bridesmaids that are struggling financially, do not put the extra burden on them that comes with being a bridesmaid. If you think they will be hurt if they aren’t asked and you really want them in your wedding, discuss the situation with them.
You do not need to include people in your wedding party even if you were in theirs. Hopefully, they will understand how hard it is choose and not take offense.
There are many other ways to honor those who are close to you besides asking them to be placed in your wedding party. Friends can usher, sing, play an instrument or read during your ceremony.
Tips for Choosing Your Wedding Party
Choose your attendants CAREFULLY. Not every friend or relative makes the perfect attendant. You especially want your bridesmaids to be:
HELPFUL - Willing to help out with any wedding details, errands, shopping or help putting together favors.
RELIABLE - Show up for fittings when they are scheduled. Be on time for the rehearsal and the ceremony!
ACCOMMODATING – Able to wear a dress that may not be their “ideal choice” and NOT complain!
When choosing the members of your wedding party, pick friends and/or family members that you are close with NOW. You may want to ask an old college roommate that you haven't seen in a while, but don't feel obligated to include people just because "you were a bridesmaid in her wedding".
If you’re on a tight budget, try to LIMIT the number of attendants. This will reduce your costs in more ways than one! It will reduce your flower bill (bridesmaid’s bouquets can be expensive); the number of attendant gifts that you’ll have to purchase; the cost of a bridesmaids luncheon and rehearsal dinner and you’ll need a smaller limo; and.
You may want to look at bridesmaids gowns first and set a budget for the dress, shoes and other accessories that THEY would be required to pay for. Then, let your bridesmaids know a realistic budget of what they will need to pay to be a bridesmaid in your wedding BEFORE you ask them to accept.
If you are asking bridesmaids who live out of town, be sure to take into consideration the travel and lodging expenses when figuring the projected “bridesmaid budget”.
When choosing your wedding attendants - remember that you don't necessarily need to have the same number of bridesmaids and ushers. Bridesmaids can walk down the aisle together in pairs, alone or two bridesmaids can be escorted by one usher.
How many ushers do I need? The rule of thumb is... there should be one usher for every 50 guests. The average wedding party for formal or semi-formal is four to six bridesmaids and users. Also, keep in mind a bride does not need as many bridesmaids as ushers.
Helping and Assisting the Bride
One of your very best friends is getting married. On that day, you will be standing beside her as a loving supporter of the new life she is about to embark on. Sure, there are some traditional things that you should be doing, like planning the bridal shower and helping the bride get dressed on her wedding day, but how can you go above and beyond?
Here are a few ideas for those women who are thrilled to be bridesmaids and anxious to help out their excited, but stressed, friend.
OFFER YOUR HELP - Offer to tie up favors, fold wedding programs, address invitations or whatever else your friend needs done. While some of these tasks can seem tedious, with the right attitude, it can be a great time of bonding. Yet perhaps more importantly, you will be helping your friend tremendously.
EASE THE STRESS - As the wedding gets closer and closer, nerves are set on edge. Surprise the bride with a massage therapy session a week or so before the wedding. If money is tight, give her sweet smelling bath salts or a box of relaxing herbal tea.
LISTEN - Sometimes, your friend will just need to vent. Even if you’re in a hurry or you’ve heard the same story way too many times, focus on her and listen to her needs. Offer to take some of her responsibilities if she if feeling overwhelmed.
THINK AHEAD AND PLAN - Be prepared for life’s little accidents. At the wedding, bring along aspirin, bobby pins, safety pins, spot remover, tissues and of course, breath mints. These can come in very handy and are probably extras that your friend is not thinking of.
DON’T COMPLAIN - Remember that this wedding day is for the bride. Don't complain about things that you might not like or would do different. This is her day and should be done how she prefers.
Being a bridesmaid is really what you make of it. You can do nothing but show up on the wedding day or you can make a huge difference. Considering that she chose you to stand up with her on perhaps the most important day of her life, decide to be a tremendous asset to her rather than just a participant.
Having More than One Maid of Honor
Some brides have two or three close friends or sisters and find it difficult if not impossible to select only ONE Maid or Matron of Honor.
What's the solution?
Have two or even three women as your Maids or Matrons-of-Honor.
Here are a few tips:
Try to divide the duties up so that no one feels left out! For instance, have one hold the ring or your bouquet during the ceremony and another arrange your gown or you can have both of them arrange your gown.
Try to divide up the duties before the wedding too, such as who will help with flowers, invitations, favors, etc. Because everyone is so busy today, your Maids of Honor may find it helpful to share tasks.
Or, you can have your Maids of Honor share equally in everything. However, this can sometimes be a more difficult alternative for the bride to manage. (Three schedules to coordinate instead of two) · In your wedding program, list both or all as Maids or Matrons-of-Honor. Who should be listed first? This can be done alphabetically or by age.
Some brides also choose to include a few special words in their program about why you chose more than one.
Who escorts both Maids of Honor back down the aisle after the ceremony? Have the best man escort one on each arm.
Including Older Children in Your Wedding
Inviting children to take part in your celebration can make it even more special and is very important for second marriages when you are trying to bring together a "new family".
There are many roles children can play:
Flower girls and ring bearers are so adorable and are usually between the ages of 4-7.
Junior bridesmaids are typically between the ages 8-12.
Here are some other roles and responsibilities that older children (6 and above) can be given to take part in your wedding celebration:
Hand out wedding programs at the ceremony.
Ask them to do a special reading or prayer during the ceremony.
Watch over the gift table. Give them a role of scotch tape and ask them to make sure all cards are securely fastened to each gift.
Help set up or decorate the reception or ceremony site.
Help set up the reception location with favors, place cards, guest book, toasting flutes, etc.
Help transport the ceremony flowers to reception.
Hand out the wedding favors to guests. Have someone walk around with a basket or tray and hand out the favors to each guest at their seat or from a designated table.
Manage the guest book. If the guest book is left unattended, many guests will forget to sign it. So, ask someone to walk around with the book and ask the guests to sign it.
Best Man Responsibilities
The groom selects his Best Man. It is typically his brother, father, a close relative or friend. In the case of a second marriage, he can even choose his son to be his Best Man.
The Best Man plays an important role. He is responsible for:
Getting the groom to the church
Holding onto the rings
Giving the first toast to the bride and groom
Now, if you read the etiquette books, the best man has a long list of responsibilities, such as...
Host the bachelor party for the groom
Arrange for ushers to be fitted for tuxes
Coordinate ushers' activities on the wedding day
Help the groom get dressed
Stay with the groom up until the time of the ceremony and offer moral support
Make sure the groom is packed "appropriately" for his honeymoon
Make and/or confirm the couple's honeymoon arrangements
Drive the groom to the ceremony
Hold on to the marriage license and wedding rings
Pay the Officiator and other vendors
Give the first toast to the bride and groom at the reception
Oversee the timetable to make sure everything runs on time
Drive the couple to their hotel or their destination after the reception
The best man's responsibilities depend largely on who the best man is and how much responsibility and other tasks YOU would like him to perform.
Maid of Honor Responsibilities
Your Maid of Honor should be your closest friend - many times, a bride will choose her sister. Some brides will choose to have both a Matron of Honor (a married woman) as well as a Maid of Honor (an unmarried woman). And, some choose to have more than one Maid of Honor.
The main role of the Maid of Honor is to help the bride with the wedding planning... this can include shopping for dresses, addressing invitations, putting together favors and just being there when the bride needs some extra help, support or someone to talk to.
Traditionally, there are some specific duties that the maid of honor is to perform:
Host the bridal shower. Today, this is usually done with the help of the other bridesmaids.
Helps the bride get dressed on her wedding day.
Adjusts the bride's veil and train before she walks down the aisle and during the ceremony as needed.
Holds the bride's bouquet during the wedding ceremony.
Holds the groom's ring wedding ring until the exchange of the rings, if there is no ring bearer.
Witnesses the signing of the marriage license.
Helps the bride bustle her gown prior to the beginning of the reception.
If you are a Maid of Honor, keep in mind that you should always offer your assistance wherever it may be needed. Through the stresses of planning a wedding and all the details involved, each bride needs help....especially the help of a best friend!
Great Gifts for the Groomsmen
It's customary to present a token of appreciation to your ushers and groomsmen.
Here are some groomsmen gifts that are sure to let them know that you appreciate their presence at your wedding.
For those who like to celebrate by lighting it up, buy a round of Cigars for your closest buddies. Make sure you get the Cigar Holders to go along with them.
Giant glass or pewter Beer Mugs are always a great remembrance; they also come in handy for future football watching.
For the businessman, get him a Business Card Holder with a message engraved on it.
Since the dress of the day is a tuxedo, why not put the finishing touches on with brand new Cuff Links.
Give beautiful silver or leather covered Flasks.
Give him a special Key Ring engraved with a message.
Money Clips are great to hold those dollar bills.
You could add a little tradition and give him a Pocket Watch engraved with your wedding date.
Buy him Tickets to his Favorite Event.
Make sure your groomsmen are on time by giving them each a Watch.
For those busy people, give them a Leather Bound Date book.
A Nice Set of Pens is always a useful gift.
How about some Hobby or Sports Accessories like Golf balls or Golf tees.
For the gift that keeps giving… there’s the Beer of the month club, Wine of the month club, or Cigar of the month club.
For those handy Groomsmen, give a Mini Tool Kit.
To keep the Groomsmen smelling good, give a nice bottle of Cologne.
For the outdoorsman, give a Deluxe Swiss Army Knife.
To keep the Groomsmen looking cool, give a Pair of Sunglasses.
For those Groomsmen that like to party, give a Martini or Margarita Set.
To keep the groomsmen looking neat and clean, give a Shaving Kit.
Add to their CD collection, with a Music Gift Certificate!
Give a Magazine Subscription to their favorite magazine.
Give them a fine bottle of Wine.
For those men that love a game of poker, give a Silver-plated card case.
Gift Certificates (to just about anything… The Sharper Image, Golf Lessons, Golf Accessories, A Round of Golf, Brookstone's, Everything Wireless, etc.) are a great way to personalize your groomsmen gifts.
Great Gifts for the Bridesmaids
Giving gifts to members of the wedding and other special guests is a time-honored way of showing thanks and sharing joy. It's customary to present a token of appreciation to bridesmaids, ushers, flower girls, ringer bearers, readers and parents, as well as anyone else who helps make your wedding day special.
Here is a list of our 25 favorite bridesmaid gifts that reflect their personality and interest. They’re sure to be a long lasting memory of your wedding.
Aromatherapy candles that fit in with each of their lifestyles (tranquility, energizing, de-stressing.).
Beautiful hair jewelry, like a butterfly barrette or rhinestone bobby pins.
A small box of decadent chocolates.
Perfume and a dainty atomizer.
All the fixings for a luxurious bubble bath.
A day of horseback riding (or kayaking or roller-skating, etc.).
Gorgeous candlesticks and candles that fit their décor.
Cooking, art or ceramics classes. (Fun for the creative types, and relaxing for those who are highly stressed).
A pair of margarita glasses, a good bottle of tequila and limes, - of course!
For a business traveler, a tiny blow-dryer and mini sizes of all her favorite toiletries.
A deluxe set of designer makeup brushes for the beauty aficionado.
A fine linen handkerchief (for all those happy tears she'll shed at your wedding).
A gourmet gift basket - include a tiny cookbook and all the ingredients to make a few delicious dishes!
Decoupage a shoebox with memorabilia: old photos, ticket stubs from movies you saw together, and snippets from letters. Fill it with sweets or some scented beauty and bath items.
Concert tickets for a favorite band.
Manicures and pedicures all around! (Great to give before the wedding.)
A precious evening bag - and not necessarily one for the wedding.
A subscription to a "___ of the month" club. From flowers to wine, there's one for every passion (and budget).
Gourmet coffees or teas in a fun, jumbo-sized cup and saucer.
A beautiful hand blown vase or other artful objects, is perfect for her creative side.
Lingerie (they'll never expect it).
For a movie nut, a small collection of her favorite videos, some microwave popcorn and a video guidebook. (Don't forget the Junior Mints!)
A lovely photo frame (or two) - and a promise for a wedding photograph of the two of you.
Classy stationery - splurge on a monogram if there's time.
Still stumped? How about a gift certificate for a day-spa treatment or two? It's a gift that never misses.
Female Attendant Gift Ideas
Blanket
Book
Bridesmaid Lunch
Business Card Holders
Candle Holder/Scented Candles
Charm Bracelet
Cook Books
Crystal Clock or Vase
Desk Clock or Lamp
Dinner Certificate or Coupon
Foot Massager
Foot or Body Spa Certificate
Framed Poem and Picture
Jewelry
Male Attendant Gift Ideas
Barbecue Tools
Beer Mugs (Glass or Pewter)
Business Card Holder
Calculator
Car Safety Kit
Cuff Links
Desk Clock or Lamp
Dress Shirt & Tie
Engraved Lighter
Engraved Pocket Watch
Engraved Pen and Pencil Set
Fishing Gear/Accessories
Golf Club/Golf Balls/Golf Accessories
Gift Certificates to a nice restaurant
Hunting/Hiking/Camping Gear/Cooler
Leather Shave Kit
Money Clip or Wallet
Robe w/Monogram
Travel Bag w/Monogram
Pocket Watches
Personalized Stationary
Razor Set
Sun glasses
Silk Boxers & Socks
Tickets to a Concert or Sporting Event
Travel Kit
Flower Girl
Ballet Slippers
Child's Purse
Pearl Necklace, Bracelet, etc.
Doll
Dress
Flower Girl Necklace
Gift Certificate from Toy Store
Jewelry or Music Box
Keepsake Books
Wedding Day Barbering Bearer
Keepsake Books
Stuffed Animal
Gift For Boy or Girl
Disney Video
Disney Watch
Games
Gift Certificate to Toy Store
Kid's Theme Merchandise
Movie Passes
T-Shirts